Thoughts now trail in wisps of
what was once your poor excuse for
arms enshrouding my neck fiercely
locking together clinging for life as if
suspended from a massive girder steadily
whirling in time and space spinning and
whirring encircling some lovesick
orb somewhere beyond the sweltering
pain of this our dying room.
Your dead weight hunches me in
rising slowly your face a breath
away in sync with mine though
yours breathless my back the
crane that chains you from your
troubled quarry pulls your dark
eyes hollow as midnight
sun into mine while silently
you’re questioning everything.
Till eternity comes I won’t forget my
jerks from sleep at 4 am your
anxious cries for popsicles your
slurping wondrous juices over
blistered lips across the remains of
your rat torn tongue refreshing your
orifice streams of soothing colored
ice flowing across one huge
black canker from the chemo.
I talk with you melt into your drain we
disbelieve as the blood of fire pours over
our heads our bludgeoned hearts till
Jesus comes you settle down and I
go to my room lie there sweaty from
your dreams before morning steals
through your mini-blinds and I’m forced
to rise exhausted take to your side to
rub your feet swollen as the sea.
You strain for words for
strength your eyes enveloping the
air for everything including me your
gentle song all that remains what I
retain inside where worlds collide in
gasps of smoke not as once filled you and
me we have no words no choice you
have no voice your gaze beyond
the void then back at me.
I leave your side but for the day return to
find you curled on the floor asleep your
fragile frame no longer in control and yet
you’re past embarrassment now beyond all
vanity as sirens roar the air hangs hard I tell
you to hang on and you agree before I hear
your last request to sit you up those splendid
eyes for the very last time forging steel into
mine and once for all I fail you.
Because technicians now are in control and
me I’m out of control not really sure just
what you said and you you’re being
carried out the door upon your back all
yielded to this afternoon scene a stick
rushed down the street and out of
sight but only till I drive myself behind
arrive and wait for the time I’ll
fight my last on earth with you.
Because you struggle with your mask and no one
sees your air suppress until an aide becomes
aware and oceans spread your peaceful lips peeled
and raw black eyes deep shut grey head thrown
back your outstretched hand now squeezes
God’s you focus keen while where I stand
time parches on and boils down to
hiss no wave goodbye I watch
you die.